Eurovision 2014

Eurovision is almost upon and all the songs have been released. This year the competition is quite tough. It would seem every country has entered some sort of worthwhile song. It all depends on the live finals though to see who will make the cut and win. Here is my top 37 list of the Eurovision 2014 entries.

37. Suzy – Quero Ser Tua (Portugal)
It’s a really poor attempt by Portugal this year. While the song wouldn’t sound out of place in a dodgy Mexican restaurant, it is just not Eurovision worthy and sits last in my top 37. The melody sounds like a cheap Lambada knock-off and I will be incredibly surprised if it limps through the semi-finals. It’s songs like this that have kept Portugal from a top four position in Eurovision since the competition began.

36. Sergej Ćetković – Moj Svijet (Montenegro)
This song isn’t at all bad, it’s just plain, dull and boring. In fact while doing this list I had to find the song again to make sure I knew which one it was. Easily forgettable, could make it through to the final. It is a real shame as the singer sounds great live. It’s really just the song that lets him down. I’d advise that you pop to the loo or put the kettle on while this one it playing, it’s nothing to miss.

35. Tolmachevy Sisters – Shine (Russia)
This song disappoints on so many levels. The lack lustre voices coupled with an uninteresting melody makes for such a poor entry on Russia’s behalf. The sisters themselves don’t seem to harmonise at all and in my eyes you could improve the song by 50% by axing one of the sisters. Still it wouldn’t be enough to save it. Let’s not forget the whole sibling thing didn’t work for Jedward.

34. Softengine – Something Better (Finland)
While I love bands, I struggle to find anything nice to say about this song. It’s incredibly average and quite forgettable. However, playing your own instruments is a bonus in my book. It is the live performances that really let the band down, with the lead singer straining to hit the high notes. Maybe they should have just entered Lordi again…

33. Teo – Cheesecake (Belarus)
While it is brilliantly cheesy (even cheese in the title), it is just not up to Eurovision standards. Teo himself looks, talks and acts like a bad Robin Thicke tribute act with unflattering poses and dated dance moves. The track itself would feel more at home in the 1990s as well as the sexist lyrics written by a guy seemingly afraid of commitment.

32. Elaiza – Is It Right (Germany)
Is it right? The answer is no. While the tune and lyrics are a bit catchy, it’s the singer that really sinks this one. Her scratchy vocals are not to my taste and don’t seem to compliment the monotonous accordion playing. The chorus fails to deliver any kick the song desperately needs and that’s why it’s 32 on my list. Even the streamers released during her performance know this song is a flop.

31. Dilara Kazimova – Start A Fire (Azerbaijan)
While the song is beautifully written and sung it just fails to make any impact against the other entries. It’s slow, borders on dull and unfortunately has no punch to see it hit higher on my list.

30. The Common Linnets – Calm After The Storm (The Netherlands)
I do enjoy this relaxing and calm song. The singers harmonise brilliantly together but again like Dilara Kazimova – Start A Fire, they get lost amongst the other entries. It’s not really a Eurovision song for me, more like a song to keep you company on a long, long drive.

29. Ruth Lorenzo – Dancing In The Rain (Spain)
It might have been a clever idea to use a woman who made it to the live finals of the UK X Factor, but I personally don’t think it has worked. There is a reason that Ruth never won the X Factor and this song emphasises it. She’s not a great live performer and the song is too basic to make any headway among the other entries.

28. Aram MP3 – Not Alone (Armenia)
This is the bookies favourite to win. The song is great in post-production, but it all crumbles when it is performed live. The song takes a long time to get to deliver the chorus and the singer struggles to resemble any part of the polished product. I really think this is going to impact the song majorly in the semi-finals and wouldn’t be surprised if doesn’t make it to the final. Make sure you check out his awful singing face!

27. Carl Espen – Silent Storm (Norway)
This song suffers the same ailment as Aram MP3 – Not Alone. In post-production it’s a nice moving piece that could really go places. Alas it’s the live performance again that ravages this song to something that wouldn’t seem bad at a karaoke bar.

26. Basim – Cliché Love Song (Denmark)
It’s a cheesy, cliché love song. It should be perfect for Eurovision, but it really makes me cringe. Basim has a really whiney voice, that is not at all attractive; and with the lyrics of the song makes him sound like a soppy, infatuated 16-year-old Bruno Mars wannabe.

25. Twin Twin – Mustache (France)
I love the lyrics in this funny, playful song. However, the singers 1980s parachute pants bugs me to no end and adds to the lame feeling of the rest of the song. In the live performance’s they have a lot of energy which gets the crowd going and if they had put that energy into writing the song they might have fared better on my list.

24. Sebalter – Hunter Of Stars (Switzerland)
I lovely the country feel of this song even if it’s lyrics are little hard to understand. I can’t stand any type of whistling, but I’ve allowed it this one time for this song. However, the live performances seem to be missing something and sometimes the lead singer is drowned out by the music. Considering the whistling, this song
still rates highly on my list at 24.

23. Freaky Fortune feat. Risky Kidd – Rise up (Greece)
Everything about this song sounds dated. The beat, lyrics and singing sounds borrowed from the 1990s and I can’t imagine it took too long to write this number. However, this highly repetitive tune is not an entirely bad entry from Greece. Surprisingly good live, they are very entertaining and leave you feeling a little bit nostalgic.

22. Valentina Monetta – Maybe (Forse) (San Marino)
This song reminds me of a bond theme. Yes, maybe (no pun intended) it is a little bit dull or boring, but I like it. Everything just seems to work and fit together. I also love bond themes which helps this one reach 22 on my list.

21. Conchita Wurst – Rise Like A Phoenix (Austria)
A another bond theme sounding song, this one uses the gimmick of a drag queen… with a beard. While it certainly helps raise a few eyebrows, it does not help the entry reach higher than 21. Performed live it is nothing special, I personally believe Conchita struggles to deliver the notes needed to propel this one any higher.

20. Can-Linn (feat. Kasey Smith) – Heartbeat (Ireland)
Ireland may have produced more winners than any other country, but I don’t think this is a winner. It’s a great entry though and some might argue it deserves a higher placing. The truth is that it doesn’t sound too dissimilar from their recent entries one of which came last. I hope this entry all the best.

19. Maria Yaremchuk – Tick-Tock (Ukraine)
I have heard many different versions of this song and the one they have stuck with is the worst of the lot. Catchy and upbeat it’s a great entry and I bet you any money there will be half naked dancers if she reaches it to the finals. Be sure to listen out for the goat baa during the chorus.

18. Tinkara Kovač – Round And Round (Slovenia)
Not only is this singer good, she can also play the flute pretty well. It’s a rather catchy and upbeat song which I think will have no problem getting through to the finals. It’s a shame that the talent level this year is so high as this song would have scored much higher.

17. Tanja – Amazing (Estonia)
The funky red head from Estonia. This song however just misses that amazing quality. Catchy and upbeat, the lyrics work really well. It wouldn’t sound too out of place in a night club and that is why it’s at 17. I just hope she doesn’t do too much dancing if she makes it to the final.

16. Vilija Matačiūnaitė – Attention (Lithuania)
Although the word ‘attention’ is repeated too many times for my liking, I quite enjoy this one. The English used isn’t the best, but Vilija gives off a lot of energy and the song is one that sticks in your head. A perfect Eurovision entry from Lithuania.

15. Tijana Dapčević – To The Sky (F.Y.R. Macedonia)
Where to start? The song is superb with a fast tempo and vocals that accompany it well. However, Tijana is not the sexiest performer and comes across as a bit boyish and aggressive when trying to be sexy. A good choice for Macedonia as Tijana is already known in most of the former Yugoslav states. This will help bolster this already great song into the final.

14. Aarzemnieki – Cake To Bake (Latvia)
A great, happy and wacky song it could gather a bit of a cult following. The vocals suit the acoustic sound of this song brilliantly. The lyrics are easily understandable and I have already learnt them, especially, “Cep cep cep cep cep kuuku kuuku”. It’s still a long way off from winning at 14 on my list. Look out for the missing link on percussion.

13. Paula Seling & Ovi – Miracle (Romania)
I personally believe this could be a secret winner. It’s perfectly written and sung with both singers harmonising perfectly together. It just sounds like a winner. The only downfall for me is Paula singing voice which just isn’t on the same level as Ovi. This is the one to watch out for, winning from the depths of nowhere.

12. Mei Finegold – Same Heart (Israel)
A great strong entry from Israel. I did have a giggle at the second verse in which the first line sounds like , “I touch your dick.” It’s mix of English and Hebrew embodies Eurovision completely. It sounds clean and professional and could see a high finish in the final.

11. Kállay-Saunders – Running (Hungary)
A modern entry from Hungary which wisely uses a drum and bass beat. There is no doubt in my mind that this will make it to the final. The lyrics are rather dark and tells an even darker story through the video. It should do rather well.

10. Hersi – One Night’s Anger (Albania)
I’m in love with her voice. It’s strangely beautiful. The song isn’t the best, but the voice makes it. In the live performances she is absolutely captivating even though she stands completely still. Her emotion is expressed through her face and hands. A great entry and should definitely make it through to the finals.

9. Molly – Children Of The Universe (United Kingdom)
I was really excited about this song when I first heard it. However, as other entries came out it slowly moved for number 1 on my list to 9. Molly has written and sung the song well and it’s message of ‘power to the people’ will sit well with many. Finally the UK has entered a song that sounds good rather than relying of the fame of former stars.

8. Pollapönk – No Prejudice (Iceland)
It’s a crazy, cheesy entry that embodies Eurovision. I originally fell in love with the song when it was sung in Icelandic. Along with it’s message of equality (possible nod at Russia?) with fun romp should go far in the finals. A really good idea singing in English…

7. Axel Hirsoux – Mother (Belgium)
Although at first I thought this was a woman singing, I have learned to love this song. Axel hands down has the best voice of the competition. This ballad is perfect for him to belt out the notes. The lyrics are a little soppy and sloppy, but the voice blows those worries out the water.

6. Emma Marrone – La Mia Città (Italy)
Emma reminds me of Lady Gaga. She’s wild and she injects that into the song. It’s performing live that might ruin her chances though. If she doesn’t deliver as good as the finished product she could see herself not making it into the top 10.

5. The Shin & Mariko – Three Minutes To Earth (Georgia)
I know everyone is going to disagree with song, but I love simply love it. It’s got folk music and singing. What more could you want in a Eurovision entry? In my eyes it’s the most honest entry, not betraying it’s own culture. Live they deliver the same quality as the recorded version. I admit the lyrics are a little bizarre, but either way they sung perfectly.

4. Donatan & Cleo – My Słowianie – We Are Slavic (Poland)
This is another song that I originally fell in love with when I heard it in it’s mother tongue. I rarely like raps but this is an exception. A good beat and consistent rapping makes this one to look out for. Keep watch for girls in traditional dress dancing around the stage.

3. Cristina Scarlat – Wild Soul (Moldova)
Deliciously dark and mysterious this song instantly captured my attention. A harmonious mix of drum and bass and deep vocals really deliver the goods on this track. Christina is a little rusty at the start of live performance’s but can do well once she gets into it.

2. Sanna Nielsen – Undo (Sweden)
What a great entry from Sweden. The powerful chorus makes the song complete and propels this into at least the top three of the final. I’m still not quite sure what, “undo my sad” means, but I’m she’ll find some comfort doing well in the final!

1. Firelight – Coming Home (Malta)
I absolutely love this song. Not only does it have a warm, acoustic feel, but it carries an incredible message of remembering 100 years since the start of WWI. I’m surprised no other countries had a similar idea. Live they sound as brilliant as the recorded track with the powerful vocals of both singers working well. Look out for the Appalachian dulcimer that the lead vocalist plays.