Britain

The description I found was form a book titled, "The History Of Britain." The description reads as follows:

"The British Isles lie off the northwest corner of the European mainland. The area that they cover is smaller than that of most European countries, and is well away from the center of the contient. They are surrounded by sea. The climate is wet and rarely very warm, and the winters can be harsh."

Clearly the person who wrote this description is NOT BRITISH! and has never visited the country. I know this because the British climate is too unique to bunched into a couple of sentences and also the person who wrote the description uses the word 'they'. The best bit is the writing after the description which reads:

"A simple description like that does not sound very promising. Indeed, for many thousands of years the islands were barely inhabited. Most of them were covered with ice. Even a thousand years ago, Britain was still a weak and backward land. Invaders from Italy, Germany, Scandinavia and France had swept over the land, bringing their own languages and customs."

WEAK!?!? and BACKWARD!?!?, Okay now this person is either French or American. I severly doubt that a French person would call Britain as weak as they are the only country listed in the above to have NOT ruled Britain. So, I reckon the author must be American, in which case I would like to raise the fact of America having NO history whatsoever and the bare history they do have was founded by the 'backward' British. The next part sounds as if someone has stuck a gun to the authors head and told him to write something nice.

"Yet in the last millennium, Britain steadily grew into one of the strongest and most influential countries in world history. The islands were never conquered again. In the 16th century, England became a stronghold of the Prodestant version of Christianity. During the 17th century, the British people developed a system of government by parliament which was later to be copied in many other countries. The great revolutions in farming and industry that were to take place worldwide, began in Britain in the 18th century. In the 19th century, the development of a massive British Empire brought power and wealth to the nation. And in the 20th century, Britain played a vital part in saving Europe from the threat of Fasicism during World War II."

That sounds more like it. This is not an American author, otherwise he would have brought up America's involvement in the war. Don't get me wrong, I love America, but they always try to outdo us Brits. The only thing they can't do better in is FOOTBALL or SOCCOR. Anyway, It actually sounds like a British person has taken over from the orginal author and is trying to prove Britain's success.

The British Empire – something us Brits should be proud of most. Covered most of the globe and boy did we reap the benefits from it. We may not own much of the world now, but we still have the power and influence. If the guy who wrote this were to write another paragraph it would read:

"Britain has since then became soft and gave back all of the kingdom they had fought for. Nowadays, they sit quietly, being the lapdog to power crazed America. Although, recently Tony Blair blamed Bush for the war in Iraq without Bush even realising it, while standing next to him. Is Britain finallt standing up for itself?"

Okay, the author wouldn't have finished on a question, but fuck it! The authors are Nicole Barber and Andy Langley and I have the strangest feeling they could be British!

p.s. I hope nobody finds this in anyway offensive!